Family Will Come to You
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Sinet Kroch, junior at Bucknell University, reflects on her visit home over winter break.
We all can agree that 2020 was a year of a lot of things. For me, it was a year of discomfort, a year of uncertainty, a year of COVID-19, a year of learning, and importantly, a year to remind myself what is really important and has been truly special and significant. As an international student with no family in the US, I felt lost when my school closed down due to COVID-19. But with the support from SHE-CAN and other kind people I know, I was offered a place to stay and was well taken care of. |
Despite the travel restrictions, I had to fly to Cambodia to take care of some legal documents. I was in quarantine at the state center in Phnom Penh, the capital city, for two weeks. I have never felt so close yet so far from my family. I usually have a crowd of people sending me off and welcoming me home at the airport, but 2020 was different, and this time, I was alone with two suitcases.
Thanks to auntie
Samneang (SHE-CAN’s Cambodian Coordinator), SHE-CAN scholars Rosie and Sahas, and my other friends in Phnom Penh, my two weeks in quarantine were comfortable. Rosie’s family lent me pillows and bedding, and Sahas brought me a Cambodian SIM card and top up card. My other friends brought me a fan and an extension cord, which were not provided by the center.My family checked in with me every morning to see how I was doing and if I was comfortable with the living situation at the center. Their morning call and their “I can’t wait to see you” meant the world to me. I started to pay more attention to their words, even if sometimes they said it in a joking manner. My dad asked, “Do you not miss me?” which is a
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phrase that he doesn’t use with any of his children or even his wife. My mom said, “I miss you and take care” – a sentence that takes Cambodian moms a lot of courage to say. When I finally completed my quarantine and went home, my parents bought a new bed mattress, bedding, pillow, and mosquito net for me. That was the first time in 23 years that my parents could afford this and invest in getting me a comfortable place to sleep. I was so surprised.
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A pleasant surprise: Sinet’s new bedding
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With my savings from my on-campus jobs, I was able to take my parents and two younger sisters on a boat trip to Tonle Sap Lake. We went to two different pagodas to offer food to the monks and elderly people, believing that our good deed will go to our deceased ancestors. We went to the bird conservation center, where we got to use a telescope to look at different types of birds.
Sinet with her mom and sister at the top of the big tree
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Sinet and her family at Tonle Sap Lake
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My parents and sisters also came to Phnom Penh with me to send me off. I was able to take them to eat seafood, to visit the Royal Palace, and on a boat ride along the riverside. I noticed that with how unexpected everything is due to COVID-19, my parents had learned to try new things and are willing to go on trips without thinking too much of the expense. I was glad that I could take care of the spending, so they could truly enjoy the experience. I was very blessed to see their smiles and hear their laughter, something I haven’t heard and seen in a very long time.
Even though 2020 was a chaotic year, it has been a year that brought my family and I closer. It was a year that I learned to let go of expectations, to live in the present, and to pay attention to who truly cares about me and my well-being. I expect my parents to say “I love you” but I realized that I never say “I love you” to them. The closest we have been with showing affection was “I miss you and take care.” If anything, the year 2020 taught me to stay connected to my feelings and to put my own mental and emotional wellness at the center stage. Through this realization, I knew that I wanted to be with my family and let them know how I really feel. It has been a struggle, but winter break 2020 was a blessed time and the most love I ever felt from my family.
If family is what you need, say it, show it, and family will come to you.
Even though 2020 was a chaotic year, it has been a year that brought my family and I closer. It was a year that I learned to let go of expectations, to live in the present, and to pay attention to who truly cares about me and my well-being. I expect my parents to say “I love you” but I realized that I never say “I love you” to them. The closest we have been with showing affection was “I miss you and take care.” If anything, the year 2020 taught me to stay connected to my feelings and to put my own mental and emotional wellness at the center stage. Through this realization, I knew that I wanted to be with my family and let them know how I really feel. It has been a struggle, but winter break 2020 was a blessed time and the most love I ever felt from my family.
If family is what you need, say it, show it, and family will come to you.
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Saying goodbye at the airport